This Kind of Bad Feeling

Something I avoided about...but I want it to know...
Somewhere I stayed away...but I want it to be there...
The burden I ignored...but I want it to carry...
The nightmare I obsolete...but I want it to remember...

Nobody wants to be in the paradox situation,
but I want to accept it on my own.
None might be in the chaotic state,
but I have to keep my feet on the ground.

Batara Guru has played his song so deep
Batara Kala has created his travelmachine so unique
then Dewa Ruci is drowned into the seabed
I...don't look like who I was anymore...

This kind of feeling, I never imagined before
I want to keep what I want to belong to
but this is not true...
I feel this is not what I supposed to be happened

I am sorry, I feel guilty
I hurt myself with my falsifiability
I will hurt the people around me

Please make me remained...
even my tears is deserting
even my blood will flow out
even my heart will explode
even I will break into apart.